joely's blog

Uncomfortable Facts

Tue, 25 Aug 2009 15:20:00 -0400

I wrote this poem as a response to something I discovered in 2003. It had to be pried out - rather like creating something not of one’s own making - an uncomfortable feeling. Was it an act of creation or completion? It seems appropriate somehow, that this poem has an undecided “lineage.”

”Facts all come with points of view
Facts don’t do what I want them to.”
-David Byrne

Uncomfortable Facts

I have inconveniently
been visited by
some uncomfortable facts.

They will not go away.
Instead they poke me
through the pockets
I stuffed them into
to keep them out of sight.

Persistent little devils, aren’t they?

Now I must take care
that my pants aren’t too tight
and I have to be really careful
when I sit down!

Maybe I can buy them off
like corrupt legislators
or absent parents
bribing their children.

Inconvenient facts are most uncomfortable
in the present tense
which confers the undeniability
of a mess still to be cleaned up.
And hence less susceptible
to the spin of revisionism
or the myriad murky layers of deceit
that we deposit on the corpse of truth
as an act of misdirection or slight-of-hand
to cover up the many unseemly things
better handled by politicians.

But isn’t it paradoxical
for me to react this way?
How can I feel like a hostage to facts
when the truth will make you free?

Remembering Frank McCourt

Sat, 25 Jul 2009 22:58:00 -0400

Frank McCourt Memorial from joely on Vimeo.

This is a memorial for Frank McCourt with his younger brother, Malachy McCourt.

Frank McCourt didn’t start writing until he was 68, and then as he says: “He wrote it all down.” If you’ve been touched by Angela’s Ashes, this is for you. If you haven’t, it’s also for you – an introduction to a body of work you don’t want to miss, one that has heart.

Namaste, Amy.

Buster in a Bag :-)

Tue, 21 Jul 2009 16:38:47 -0400

I left the classic Whole Foods plastic bag out after using it for the COJ picnic Sunday, and Buster saw its greater potential.

“Look Daddy, this is my clubhouse.
You have to know the password to get in!”

The Duchess

Fri, 22 May 2009 17:57:00 -0400

I bought a car Wednesday, and will be saying goodbye to the Porsche after 26 years. I’m really glad to have the newer vehicle; it solves a lot of problems for me!

It’s an ‘87 BMW with many miles, but it’s been very well maintained, and I won’t have to deal with Porsche mechanics anymore. They made my life way too “interesting” at times.

The BMW has one feature which the Porsche didn’t have that I can’t live without: The ability to block all outside air. So, now, I won’t get a headache if I’m stuck behind a diesel. Also the anti-lock brakes seem like a “must have.” I didn’t know it had them when I bought it - neither did the former owner. So that was a nice surprise. Plus it drives well; the Porsche has problems and I’m glad not to have to deal with them this time.

The BMW’s differential makes a bit of noise when going over 45, but I just turn up the stereo. The former owner is an amateur musician. It has a very nice stereo and speakers.

PDQForms: Like adding Spreadsheets to Acrobat

Sun, 12 Apr 2009 21:53:11 -0400

My software obsession.

http://pdqforms.biz

Free tax software for Mac OS X 10.4 Tiger and 10.5 Leopard

Welcome back Daddy!

Sun, 02 Nov 2008 22:09:10 -0500

Buster snoozed through my return from COJ today. I guess he finally feels “at home” here :-)

I loved Paul. I was thinking about him, just a bit ago, as I...

Mon, 06 Oct 2008 01:56:59 -0400

I loved Paul. I was thinking about him, just a bit ago, as I heated up some Sockarooni, looking at his splendid countenance on the label. I had a thought that my favorite Paul Newman movie was the “movie” of Paul, in real life, his beauty tempered by humility and a steadfast determination to do the right thing, like in 1969, when he supported the Moratorium to End the War in Vietnam. Namaste Paul.

Head of Skate – don’t blink!

Tue, 30 Sep 2008 18:21:03 -0400

Head of Skate – don’t blink!

A Candle for Mookie

Thu, 11 Sep 2008 01:34:00 -0400

We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time.
Through the unknown, unremembered gate
When the last of earth left to discover
Is that which was the beginning;
At the source of the longest river
The voice of the hidden waterfall
And the children in the apple-tree
Not known, because not looked for
But heard, half-heard, in the stillness
Between two waves of the sea.
Quick now, here, now, always—
A condition of complete simplicity
(Costing not less than everything)
And all shall be well and
All manner of thing shall be well
When the tongues of flame are in-folded
Into the crowned knot of fire
And the fire and the rose are one.

-Little Gidding

A Late Dessert

Thu, 14 Aug 2008 19:58:00 -0400

I attended a talk describing the recent discovery, reconstruction and translation of the Gandhara Scrolls, the oldest surviving Buddhist texts. While ruminating on their temporal scope and import, this began to form in my mind. I waited to harvest it, hoping that it would ripen, but finally picked it anyway, knowing that further verse wouldn’t grow until I did. When a friend stipulated that a fragment can be seen as finished, I had a strong sense of what she meant. Perhaps it is an appropriate parallel that this verse is fragmentary, as are the texts themselves.

A Late Dessert

like a poem sitting
in someone’s heart
for ten thousand years

an ancient gift
always there but
previously unnoticed

coming from a precursor
into consciousness
like a sacrament
to be decoded
by anxious lips
after untold millennia

an almost invisible tear
frozen timelessly
in the corner of the Buddha’s eye.

Buster on "Lap Cam"

Wed, 13 Aug 2008 14:56:07 -0400

I took this picture of Buster while he was on my lap this morning. (My camera’s view-finder swivels.) He was pretty oblivious to it all :-)

Roger & me

Mon, 11 Aug 2008 23:58:00 -0400

I wanted to honor Roger’s memory in this small way; he was such a treasure. My deepest condolences go out to his close friends and family.

Olga and Roger

This reflection on my friend and colleague, Roger O’Neill, doesn’t have much to do with me, except that it’s written from my perspective. But I liked the title and thought Roger would have too. Correct me if I’m wrong. Oops, comments not enabled? Well, you know where I live :-)

My earliest memory of Roger, was as a runner. I’d go out along the same trail every day - at Applied Biosystems where I started working in 1994 - and invariably see a pack of guys running much faster than I ever did. Roger was one of them. Steve Menchen and Peter Fisher were others. These guys were racers! I both envied and admired them. The envy part was that I’d never had their ability; the admiration was based on their grace and the camaraderie apparent in their interplay.

The first time I spoke with Roger at any length, was several years after that, when I interviewed with him at Guava. I don’t remember the specifics of our conversation, but I distinctly recall having met someone really interesting!

Accomplished but never arrogant, my sense of Roger could be encapsulated in the phrase “Noblesse Oblige.” That’s, roughly, the classical Greek equivalent of the Buddhist term “Namaste.” He treated me with trust and respect and I felt a responsibility to honor that. I’m at a total loss to level any criticism at Roger; an actuality I find a bit unnerving.

He once asked me to work over Thanksgiving. I really didn’t want to, but we were in a startup and I was on the critical path, so I did. In retrospect, I’m really glad about that; I’d hate to think that I let him down.

I’m deeply saddened by Roger’s passing, but grateful for the gift of having known him.

I love you, Scruffy.

Fri, 18 Jul 2008 14:13:00 -0400

I love you, Scruffy.

Slight Synchronicity?

Mon, 14 Jul 2008 18:47:04 -0400

I’d almost posted this in last night’s “Thoughts for Matt” – but didn’t:

I said to my soul, be still, and wait without hope
For hope would be hope for the wrong thing; wait without love,
For love would be love of the wrong thing; there is yet faith
But the faith and the love and the hope are all in the waiting.
- East Coker

I decided to put this up when I saw the parallel between Eliot’s thought and the Scripture Mrs. Wheeler quoted in her post this morning:

“…hope that is seen is not hope; for who hopes for what he already sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, with perseverance we wait eagerly for it.” Romans 8:24-25

I’m trying to sit still with the synchronicity. And I’m looking forward to studying this verse more deeply!

It goes without saying, that I’m thinking often of Matt and his family today, and his Unit too: “Thoughts and prayers,” CPT G.

Thoughts for Matt Wheeler and his Family

Mon, 14 Jul 2008 01:16:45 -0400

Matthew and his family are in my heart and prayers throughout each day. I wanted to express special appreciation to Mrs. Wheeler for her writing, and to the many people who are also thinking of and praying for Matt and the Wheeler family at this unknowably difficult time.

God's Audience

Fri, 11 Jul 2008 19:19:00 -0400

I’ve been thinking about PV2 Hotwheels and his family, and CPT G and The Gravediggers this week. And praying for them: That PV2 Hotwheels fully recovers, and that CPT G and The Gravediggers stay safe and return home to their loved ones. I wrote this poem some time ago. It had its inception in a question posed by a good friend: “How does one process grief?” My verse doesn’t answer that question but might be useful for further exploration of that space.

Even God Needs An Audience

How can you sing praise
to God’s infinite love
when you are too sad
to carry a tune?

Silence your unsteady voice
and open up your heart to Him.

It will provide the rhythm
His symphony needs
to complete its performance
for you His audience.

The perfect gift for someone who has everything :-)

Mon, 07 Jul 2008 16:43:00 -0400

The perfect gift for someone who has everything :-)

Thinking of Gandalf

Sat, 05 Jul 2008 21:42:00 -0400

I’ve been thinking of Mr. G. He was my soulmate who went to Kitty Heaven seventeen years ago, today. I’ll have more to say about Gandalf and Equity, his partner, at some point. I hope.

I love you Gandy.

Yahoo Statistics

Sun, 29 Jun 2008 20:46:00 -0400

Featured on Yahoo’s home page, June 29, 2008:

This is so Yahoo.

First the stupidity: “each,” ouch!

But the essence of Yahoo seems to be the displacement of the real, important and accurate with the mindless, trivial and false.

There would be no reason for Rupert Murdoch to ever buy Yahoo; not when they’re doing his bidding for free!

Yahoo Economics

Wed, 18 Jun 2008 00:43:47 -0400

This would be funny if it weren’t so scary.